Guides

Toilet training an autistic child: a visual, step-by-step approach

Toilet training often takes longer for autistic and ADHD children, and that’s fine. Breaking it into small picture steps and keeping the routine the same every time can make it far less stressful for everyone.

Break it into steps

“Go to the toilet” hides a lot of steps in one instruction. Show them one picture at a time: pants down, sit on the toilet, wee or poo, wipe, pants up, flush, wash hands, dry hands. Put the strip at your child’s eye level next to the toilet, and point to each step as it happens.

Use the same words and the same order every time. Predictable steps are easier to learn than a stream of reminders.

Build it into the day

Regular toilet trips work better than asking “do you need a wee?”, which is easy to answer with “no”. Add a toilet step to routines that already happen: after waking up, after meals, before going out and before bed. A First and Then board helps with the hard bit: “First toilet, then TV.”

Plan for the senses

• The flush. If the noise is too much, flush after your child has left the room at first, or let them cover their ears. Some children like pressing the button themselves once they know what’s coming.
• A cold or wobbly seat. A child seat and a footstool help small bodies feel steady.
• Hand dryers. Out and about, a small towel in your bag avoids the loudest part of a public toilet.

Keep accidents low-key

Accidents are part of learning. Clean up calmly and quickly, without a big reaction either way, and go back to the steps next time. Celebrate the tries as well as the successes: a sticker or a coloured circle for every sit on the toilet keeps motivation up while the skill catches up.

If your child seems to be in pain, is often constipated, or you’re worried, talk to your GP or health visitor.

New toilets

Toilets away from home can be a big step. Take the step strip with you and use the same words as at home. A visual story about using the toilet, read together a few times, helps with the parts that are hard to practise.

Kits that go with this guide

• First and Then board (£3.49): A First and Then board, small boards to carry, choice boards and 45 cards.
• Self-Care Steps bundle (£6.99): Toilet, handwashing, tooth brushing and getting dressed steps in one download. Save £3.47.
• Toilet steps (£2.99): A toilet poster, step strips, a sticker chart and a visual story.
• Handwashing steps (£2.49): A handwashing poster for the sink, step strips and a when-to-wash poster.

Written by a dad to an autistic son with ADHD. This is everyday parenting advice, not medical or therapy advice. If you’re worried about your child, talk to your GP, health visitor or school SENCo.