Guides

Christmas with an autistic child: a calmer December

Christmas changes almost everything at once: the house looks different, school stops being school, visitors arrive and the big day runs to a new timetable. Showing those changes before they happen makes them much easier.

Show December before it happens

Put the main events where your child can see them: the school play, the last day of term, visitors, Christmas Day. A Sleeps until Christmas chart that your child colours in each night makes the wait easier to see, and answers “how many more days?” without another conversation.

Change the house slowly

• Put decorations up over a few days rather than all at once.
• Let your child help, and keep one room or corner that stays the same.
• Bring in flashing lights, music and new smells a little at a time, and switch them off when it gets too much.

Plan the big day in pictures

Christmas Day has its own timetable, so show it as one: wake up, stocking, breakfast, presents, visit family, Christmas dinner, quiet time, sleep. Go through it the day before, then point to each step on the day and move it to Finished. Unwrapping can be a lot, so a few presents at a time, with breaks, is fine.

Visitors, food and hugs

• Tell your child who is coming, with photos if you have them.
• Nobody has to hug: a wave or a high five is a fine hello, and it helps to tell relatives that before they arrive.
• Familiar food on the plate is fine on Christmas Day. New foods can wait.

Keep a quiet space

Set up a quiet spot before the day starts, with ear defenders, a favourite toy and something to do, and make it clear your child can go there whenever they need to. Plan quiet time into the day, rather than waiting until it is needed.

Visiting Santa

Grottos mean queues, a new place, bright lights and meeting Santa up close. Read a short visual story the week before so your child knows what will happen, ask whether the grotto has quiet or early sessions, and agree a way to say “I want to go”. Waving from a distance counts, and so does skipping it this year.

Kits that go with this guide

• Feelings kit (£3.49): A check-in board for how I feel, what I need and what I can do.
• Christmas kit (£3.99): A Christmas Day board, a visiting-Santa story and a countdown to colour in.
• Calm Down Corner (£3.49): Calm-down steps, a flower and candle breathing poster, a calm choices board and 18 cards.

Written by a dad to an autistic son with ADHD. This is everyday parenting advice, not medical or therapy advice. If you’re worried about your child, talk to your GP, health visitor or school SENCo.