Guides

How to set up a calm down corner at home

A calm down corner is a small, quiet space your child can go to when feelings get big. It isn’t a time-out. It’s a place to settle, with a plan on the wall for what helps.

Pick the spot

Choose somewhere a little apart from the busiest part of the house but not cut off: the corner of a bedroom, a space behind the sofa, or a small tent. Your child should be able to go there on their own, and you should still be able to see them.

What to put in it

• Somewhere soft to sit: a beanbag, cushions or a blanket.
• Things that help your child, not a generic list: ear defenders or headphones, a squeeze ball, a favourite teddy, a book.
• A few picture cards showing their calm choices, so they don’t have to think of them in the moment.
• A breathing poster at eye level.

Less is more. Too many things make the space busy rather than calm.

Teach it on a calm day

Nobody learns a new plan in the middle of a meltdown. Visit the corner together when everyone is calm, try the breathing (smell the flower, blow out the candle) and choose three to six things that really help. Then, when a big feeling comes, the plan is already familiar: stop, breathe, count, then a calm choice.

Offer it, don’t send them

If the calm corner is used as a punishment, children learn to avoid it. Offer it instead: “Do you want your calm corner?” Many children start going on their own once it feels safe and theirs.

Calm on the go

A small card on a lanyard, or a photo of the calm choices on your phone, brings the same plan to school, the shops or a family visit.

Kits that go with this guide

• Feelings kit (£3.49): A check-in board for how I feel, what I need and what I can do.
• Break and help cards (£2.99): 12 lanyard cards to ask for a break or help without words, plus a break board.
• Calm Down Corner (£3.49): Calm-down steps, a flower and candle breathing poster, a calm choices board and 18 cards.

Written by a dad to an autistic son with ADHD. This is everyday parenting advice, not medical or therapy advice. If you’re worried about your child, talk to your GP, health visitor or school SENCo.